I Haven't Frozen My Eggs, and I Don't Regret It.

But you might, if you don't.

Last week, I had the opportunity to go to the Democratic National Convention. It was quite a spectacle (check out my recent Instagram posts to catch a glimpse of the shenanigans). While I was there, I had the opportunity to meet and speak with a few elected officials. One conversation I had with Congresswoman Sara Jacobs really stuck with me. Speaking with Congresswoman Jacobs really got me thinking about why I didn’t freeze my eggs.

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When I met with Congresswoman Jacobs, she shared with me that she froze her eggs during her first term in Congress. As a gynecologist, I was shocked that she shared this with the world since, so often, folks feel so much shame disclosing their use of assisted reproductive technology and therapies. Then, I immediately felt glee because I love how openly reproductive health was being spoken of in the halls of government. Congresswoman Jacobs told me that she often had conversations with her colleagues while she was going through this process that were very candid and informative to them. She then used her own experience to advocate for making egg freezing more accessible to other Americans.

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For the past few years, while scrolling through social media, on random news programs, hell, even having conversations with my mom, the topic of egg freezing aka oocyte cryopreservation has come up. Due to increasing numbers of women choosing to get higher education or pursue careers outside of the home, the age at which they are choosing to start their families has gotten older. Unfortunately, biology has not evolved with these new developments. Fertility sharply declines after the age of 37, making it challenging to conceive without assistance after that time. 

I’m 42 years old and I’m a gynecologist. I know the statistics intimately. I discuss them with my patients on a near daily basis. However, I haven’t chosen to freeze my own eggs. I guess I’m going to get a little vulnerable here and talk about my reasons why. 

If you asked me when I was growing up if I wanted to be a mother, my answer was “absolutely.” At one point, I was telling people that I wanted to be the mother of five children. When thinking of my future, I thought I would be the super career woman with a husband, an amazing career, and five amazing children. Then I went to college and medical school… and residency. These were challenging times in my life when I was super focused on my training and not concerned with my childbearing. After residency, I started my career. I was not in a relationship at the time that I felt would last nor one in which I wanted to start a family. This is around the time that people around me, whom I love and who love me, started talking to me about freezing my eggs.

At the time, oocyte cryopreservation did not have the best outcomes for becoming a live birth (aka a child) but have since improved. I would have been paying for this completely on my own and the price tag scared me ($10,000+!!). The process to freeze my eggs would require that I inject myself with hormones and get dozens of blood tests and ultrasounds. At the time that I was considering this, I was really struggling with crippling anxiety and depression, so I worried that introducing high levels of hormones could make these conditions worse. Additionally, I was concerned that I would not find a partner and wasn’t keen on the idea of knowingly becoming a single parent. Not to mention, as an obstetrician (which is the other professional hat I wear) and a Black woman in the United States, I was terrified of possible complications of pregnancy. Ultimately, I decided against freezing my eggs. And I am OK with that decision.

I don’t regret not freezing my eggs, but you might.

People choose to freeze their eggs because it is an insurance plan in many ways. It ensures that if you decide that you would like to conceive a child that shares your genetics at a later date, that will be an option. It is not guaranteed but it will make that more likely. Even if you are unable to carry the pregnancy yourself, your eggs can be used and combined with sperm and placed in a gestational carrier (also known as a surrogate). As many of us are waiting to have children later in life, having the option to freeze eggs (or embryos  - which are fertilized eggs) gives more of us a chance at parenthood.

Bottom line: freezing your eggs is a personal decision.

Depending on your resources and your desire to parent, it may be the best (or not) decision for you.